Wawa headquarters, in a boardroom, with brains larger than mine, where a conversation was held:
Executive 2: “Panini? That word is already plural.”
Executive 1: “What do you mean?”
Executive 2: “It’s an Italian word. ‘Panini’ is plural aready. You don’t have two ‘paninis.’ You have two panini.”
Executive 1: “Are you telling me we didn’t sell toasted raviolis under the heat lamps by the counter?”
Executive 2: “That’s correct. We did not, in fact, sell toasted raviolis. The bag said ‘ravioli.”
Executive 1: “Because it was already plural.”
Executive 2: “That’s correct.”
Executive 1: “My life is one big lie.”
Executive 2: “It’s not a big deal. People call them raviolis all the time.”
Executive 1: “So back to the paninis.”
Executive 2: “Panini.”
Executive 1: “Right, panini. So what is one called?”
Executive 2: “A panino.”
Executive 1: “Seriously? You’re fucking kidding me.”
Executive 2:”No shit. One is a panino.”
Executive 1: “What’s one ravioli?”
Executive 2: “Don’t make me say it.”
Executive 1: “Fucking say it.”
Executive 2: “A raviolo.”
Executive 1:”Goddam it.”
Executive 3: “So were going to put up signs that say ‘Panini?'”
Executive 2: “We put up signs that said ‘ravioli.'”
Executive 1: “Because that’s what they’re called.”
Executive 2: “No one orders one raviolo. It’s a dish.”
Executive 3: “But you would very likely order one panini.”
Executive 2: “Panino, if we’re shooting for accuracy here.”
Executive 3: “Fuck.”
Executive 1: “No one says anything. They tap screens to order.”
Executive 3: “That’s a great point.”
Executive 2: “Very true. But the signs. They say ‘paninis.'”
Executive 3: “But people will say, ‘let’s get paninis from Wawa for lunch!'”
Executive 1: “God willing.”
Executive 2: “I know… it sounds one way. But it looks really bad in print.”
Executive 3, eyeballing Executive 1 nervously: “What do you think?”
Executive 1: “The signs read ‘paninis.’ And you can have #’2’s office.”
