I caught this segment of an interview with Mel Robbins where she describes the three “pillars” of friendship: proximity, timing, and energy. The first, proximity, really rung my bell.

When I was in college, I’d usually accompany a select group of friends to a brew pub or low-key bar with good beer and shoot the shit. Often, it was just me and Mike, a friend I haven’t seen in decades. We lost touch shortly after college. He hiked the Appalachian Trail, joined the peace corps, and became a mountain hiking guide.

I remember remarking to him one night back in 1992 or 1993 over pints something almost identical to Robbins first pillar: that friendship is determined by proximity. After we lost touch, I got to feeling bad that maybe it was more my perspective on the matter than any sociological phenomenon that influenced it.

I guess Mel would have agreed with me.